; my only subject was him

Well. Why dont they let me love you?

I wish she would understand. I wish she could be the one giving me advices and all. I wish. But I guess that it's not going to happen. Dad seems cool, but I hadnt tried talking to him about this. Never. But I know, he would understand me better. I dont know how to put words together to make sure I'll get what I want. I guess all she'll say is, "Study comes first. Silat. Youre too young. It'll only distracts you."

I hate it. Yes, Im young, But I'ma teenager now. I want freedom. Well, when i said Freedom you'll know what I mean by that. Im growing. And, you always make it sounds like as if Im still a small lil kid. Dont you know how bad I want you to be more understanding towards me?

Love. Well. I bet you didnt know how much He gave me life. Im not saying that You didnt play your part. You did. But, obviously there's something wrong when I tend to depend on the other person and not you, right?

Wait. Im not done yet.

He made me smile all along - while Im in school and even at home. I like the feeling whenever I know that he is there for/with me. And i guess, you've fallen in love too when youre teenagers right?

You just cant stop nagging to me about all these matters. You always want to know who Im out with. You always ask everything. Yes love, You did your part. Youre caring towards me. You wanna know who are my friends. Of course you wouldnt want me to mix around with bad companies. Yes, I know, Only if youre understanding.

Major miscommunication. I seldom talk to you when Im at home. If we talk, its all about other family stuffs, and most of the times crazy stuffs. But. Whenever I have problems regarding this, I wouldnt be able to open and share it to you. I wouldnt be able to ask you advice and seek help. I always have to rely on friends who knew exactly what happened and whats going on all along. But as a matter of fact, I want you to know all about that. I want you to be the one by my side. But. You dont understand.

I hope that one day you get to read this. I hope I get to print this for you. I hope at least Dad gets to read it.

; Again. I dont know how to put it to words to tell you. Im scared.

For sure. My life would be so much brighter if you would understand, Because. You know me best.