I thought I would wake you up, but you moved on.

Hello readers. A new issue.

I thought It'd wake his idea up that he'll do something to show that he loves me. He hasnt really shown alot. We broke up quite long ago already, but he seem not to bother. But just sweet-talk me. But I did tell him that Its not because I dont love him anymore.
- Geee




Aww honey. Well, its clear that He moved on now already. So, you gotta move on. I know its hard, but youve gotta. Youve gotta. Holding on doesnt make anything go any better, well especially in your case. You gotta be strong. And when you love someone, let them go. Let them be happier. Its okay, he will come back if he's yours. If he doesnt, he wont be.








Quote of the day;

Dont get discourages when the things that you want dont turn out to be your way.

Good morning love.

And my baby got so high already.

Time check: 12.57am

Currently: Taking a break from revising Biology&Chemistry test tomorrow.

AKU SCREAM, AKU LAPAR, AKU NGANTOK

I love you for giving your heart to me

and trusting me with your pride.

I love you for wanting me

and needing me by your side.

I love you for the emotions

I never knew I had.

I love you for making me

smile whenever Im sad.

I love you for your thoughts of me

where Im always in your mind

and how you make me feel.

I love you because I am who I am when Im with you and no one has ever done that.

On the other hand,You take care and rest well okay chubi. 3 days MC, and you wanna go school. Insane child. I know its kinda and damn bored over at home, but its the time for you to rest la kan. Selalu complain penat and tk ckp goodnight. Ni got the chance, tk tau pakai. chubi kn. I know la, get to go school tomo to meet that Pink-Bag girl. Dont forget to bring her kinderbuenos and make her day ehhh. Keep on trying, faggot. Whatever ah. Sick shit.

HAHA.

Also, i think im sleeping late late tonight. Maths homework, Bio test and Chem text tomo, and I havent start revisinggggggggggg. Tomo morning got trg. Wah hebat hebat pahhh. ChubiNathan ahh.

;Sayunuri

Honey, you tk payah rembat die ke ape la kan. Ape la you ni. -.- TAPI.

I hope you've got the courage to confront him face to face ah. But first, you have to find out whats happening. I know its not a pain killer to be nice again to him, but just try, again. Ask him nicely what you need to know and all. And then kalau his replies tetap mcm chubi, you pikir baikbaik what should be your next move then. I know you know what you should do. Tapi what matters is that, You strong ke tk to make that move.

Kalau die chubi, die answer balik you and all, You rebutt balik about how he have been treating you all this while. You cakap that youre tired of bottling everything to yourself and whatsmore, the way he react to everything macam nothing.

You nye case dah bukan because he deserve better seh. But because YOU do. I bet. Duh.

You just wait for monday je la okay babygirl. In the meantime, stay strong.

Quote of the day;

Love is bitter. But it happens everytime, so people get used to it. Love is a game. When you lose, you lose half of yourself.

; SHOT.

I know I hadnt say this to you for a very very very very very long time, chubi lova. But.
I miss you.

;Die dedicate this song untok aku ah.

I see you beside me. Its only a dream, A vision of what we used to be. The laughter, the sorrow. Pictures in time fades to sorrow.

How could I ever let you go. Is it too late to let you know.

I tried to run from your side. But each place I hide, it only reminds me of you. When I turn out all the lights, Even the night, It only reminds me of you.

So come back to me. Im down on my knees.

Mymp - only reminds me of you

Sweeeeeeeeeeeet. Thanks chubai. Really.

I dont know if youre been reading my blog or not, but I hope you know that Im refering to YOU la kan. And youre sucha meannie, kene-kan me the whole night tonight, ah. ChubiChubi betol. Well, Im looking forward for Sunday and Monday (: Monday, Jellybean will bring her DSLR, and we can camwhoreeeee la kan.

;Readers, Pictures will be up as soon as its taken and uploaded. If its not here, it should be on FB. (:

Youre my chubai. Im your chubi.

;And I want you to know.

I just hope that I get to be the one who will get you going.

I love talking to you, I love who I am when Im with you. Because I am myself when Im with you. I try to be the best you ever had, but apparently there are others whom you would prefer. I made a mistake before, and Ive learnt. Im sorry

Ive made the wrong decision, to leave and love all the wrong guy. Things never come easy for me, and It has always been so hard. Whatsmore, somehow I bet, Its gonna hurt me if youre going to be with someone else in the near future and not me. I admit, I left you. I know, it must have been hard for you. I know, you needed me at that very point of time. I didnt realise how much It hurts until I knew that Youve moved on.

But how come talking about other girls made me jealous?

But hey lover. I didnt leave you for any other guy. I didnt know what I wanted and. Fuck life.

I want to know what Love is. And I bet, you can show me. Again.

I. want. to. start. over.

Yes, we are. You can do that. I can too. But will things be the way it was last time? When there's only me and you?

Readers, When you told someone your deepest secret nobody has ever knew, who is He to you?

That night I lied on my bed and cried. Cried because I realised that I had the perfect guy in my life. Not because I deserve better. But because you do.

but, that doesnt mean that I dont love you.

and its going to hurt me to see you with another girl in near future and not me.

xoxo

;Its for my dearest.

Hey honey. This one's for you.


He is not treating you right. NO girls deserved to be treated like that. And tell me, if he can do it to other girls, he can also do it to you. Its only the second month and he's already acting up all chubi already. Im not asking you to leave him, but its all up to you. I know, youre holding on to it right now but honey, you always do. And you always give in in this relationship which I think shouldnt be the way ah.

His friend asked him if youre his new 'toy' infront of you. Maybe its because of his past which you dont know, and you have yet to find out. I know, you assume that he changed.

But if you gave him your last $10 for the week to him and he didnt show any signs of being grateful to have someone like you, why dyou still bother to hold on to it?




Take your time. Or not. Decide whats good for you. And whats not.











Readers, tell me. Its a one sided love,aint it?

Toldchu, Girls should never start and get serious with things too fast and early because she will only end up hurting herself.

Please, been there, done that.

for you Sayunuri

Eh aku strong ah. Stronger without kau ah.

Chubi really opened up my eyes and made me think about everything deeper. Well, what he told was me was exactly what I needed to hear. And chubi. Thanks alot for everything and everyday. I know, Ive texted you already - the 6 pages long msg, but there's another one here for you.

You made my Saturday, you made my day. I really need that badly and for the first time, You live me up within one day. HAHA. But again, had fun with you, walking from Dhoby Ghaut to Bugis. I know Ive been living under the shell to long, but hear this; "If its me and my bestf, she'll get lost first and she'll depend on me for directions." HAHA. So, that means Im not THAT blur la kan. Haha. The rainbow thing thing was nice. And the chocolate shake with pearls helped through the walk. Wait. Im not done yet. And the Brownies and Icecream was the HIGHLIGHT of the day, i swear. And I must say that I am honoured that you brought me to your workplace, introduced me to your friends, showed me around and all. And and Im the first girl you brought over. Definitely, I feel special. (Y)

When you told me you never ever thought of deleting me in your life, I tear. I know I've made a mistake to leave you before and hurt you bad. I know I'm Wrong. Eventhough you've forgive me already, I will still remember that I was wrong.

You told me you fall for me once, And you will always be.
You told me no one deserve to be treated badly.
You told me it hurts you to me getting hurt.
You told me that you're glad to know someone like me.

And you told me you did everything because you want to be there for me.

Its Saturday, I met brownies with icecream. Its Saturday, you cheered me up. Its Saturday, I finally knew how to walk from Dhoby to Bugis. Its Saturday, I finally knew that I've been living under the shell for so long. Its Saturday, You made my day. Its because Its Saturday, I love Saturday.




















On the other hand, To you who broke me heart badly.

youre sucha jerk and I hate guys like you. Whatsmore, you dont worth my time and Guys like you are just so typical. Who cares if you read this post or not, but if you, I want you to know that You are missing the good things in life for leaving me. You are missing the good things in life because you lost someone whose willing to guide you through. Stop thinking that youre a guy and you can use and do anything to any girl. And stop telling your friends that Im crazy over you and You dont like me and Yout think I'm annoying and all. Please. One thing you dont know about me is that;

Eventhough Im fifteen, I know how guys like you treat a girl. Please.
And perhaps, the reason you gave me is so typical. It is JUST a reason and easy to say, to bottom line is that you never liked me before and you just want to play around with the girl's heart. But, somehow I think youre a coward. Why dont you just tell me off straight to the point? Why dyou have to twist everything? It must have been difficult to pretend, aint it?

We may be friends in the future, but my thought of you never changes - Youre the guy that left me over some stupid reason, Youre the guy that shattered me to pieces, Youre the guy who deleted my post on your wall, Youre the guy who have used me, Youre the guy who had wasted my time, Youre the guy who cheated my feelings, Youre the typical guy whom I can meet anywhere. And. Youre the guy whom I thought was different but wasnt and I.

I dont deserve you. I deserve someone who loves me, and not you. I deserve somene else, I dont deserve you.

Guess what fucker;You lost something amazing. You lost me.

Note to All my people.

Nanti bile I sampai rumah, i upload dekat my private blog lagu lagu yang Girlfs I ngn I nyayi okay. Jangan cakap tk sedap ah, kite memang tk boleh nyayi. Effort mesti ada(:

Be strong.

A simple note. A bold meaning.

This one goes out to all the people who have been broken but still strong enough to let go.
For all the people who have hurt so badly that they felt they could never love again, but kept their heads up.
For the people that wish loneliness wasnt a part of them, but put up with it anyhow.
For the people who wake up in the morning with no missed calls and text messages but smiled anyway.
For the people that pick up the phone so tempted to call, but keep their dignity intact instead.
For the people that never wanted to let go, but had to.
For the people that still believe in love even after all of the hurt their heart endured.
For the people that needs inspiration.

When the world is falling apart. When there's no light to break up the dark. When the world has no one.

"What are you thinking about?"
"You."
"Me? What about me?"
"Well, Im trying to figure out where is this going."
"Oh. Well. That. I dont know."
"I know who I am in love with, but for now I dont have the energy to be in a relationship."
"Okay. I understand. But you know I love you and we had our times together and..."
"Well, isnt that enough?"
"I dont know."

He never called, he never texted. For a long time, I was wreck.













But that doesnt mean that I dont miss him.

Chubi, i need you now. And i mean it.

Chubi Chickies

Heyya readers. Help to vote for me by 'like-ing' the picture. Here's the link;

http://www.facebook.com/MiraIdora.Mieriikins?ref=profile#!/photo.php?pid=5839124&op=1&o=global&view=global&subj=726666491&id=308269305504

Yesterday night was awesome. Thanks alot to FATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

First, after SST webcam-ed with Jeff and Daniel.

Then with Izhwan.

Oh yeah, Bestf. Good luck for your race later okay. I miss you la love. I know, one school. But hadnt talk to you for quite sometime. Vithya couldnt make it this Saturday. Hmm. Im thinking of going library, study. You wanna tag? I doubt so. HAHA (:

Apart from that..
Faaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttt;
Eh gemok. THANKS for making my day semalam la kan. After so long tk bebual, semalam baru gile gile. Hyper maot. HAHA. I then realised that You were the one who were like telling me everything about your school and lifes and updates. Macam banyak bende sangat gitu kan you nk bebual. HAHAH. Banyak chicks pat ITE pe? HAHA. Eh, you better be honoured and comment on this post okay. And guess what. I cant wait for you to dapat you driving liscence, and caaaaar. So You can send me to school la kan! Tak payah susah susah naik MRT, tunggu bus. HAHAHA (:


Quote of the day,

"Well, you dont descriminate. Im the 15 year old you fell in love with Last February."

You ended what you started. You ended what we had. You ended me.

-Miraidora

i thought you wouldnt text. but then you did.
one thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind.

im confused.
should i leave you? or not?

You?
You just dont want to talk about it, dont you. Are you leaving Us behind? I admit. Its only a short period of time. But.

Its unfair. I reserved my love for the next one to come. The next one whom I think would deserve. I chose you. But, Ive made the wrong choice. A fucking wrong choice. I let you have and I gave all I got to keep on loving and keep our love going on but. Its all. A. Plenty. Waste. Of. Time.

Why does it always have to be this way? When I thought he is the perfect one, He left me?








Apart from that, I would like to say. Thanks FATT. For making my day. I just feel like talking to you and let all my thoughts out. Seriously. We should Starbucks one day. Hahaha. Okay, Freda? (:

And also my gorgeous Roomies. And. Happy Birthday Liana. I knw you had a blast one, sweety. (Y)


;Whose gonna walk me back to school on Sundays now?
(i)i miss you,love(/i)

i feel all alone, when youre not with me.

i feel like thrash. i know, for sure you've read the text i've sent you yesterday night. yes. think of it. i really hope the decision that youve made is really what you want. well,at least i thought i was your pillar and strength - like what you were to me. go and take your time. slowly. easily. * apart from that, i hate what im feeling now. you left me so wounded. you told me i woudnt understand. i know how youre feeling, i know because i've been thru. its like. you really dont know what you want, until you get yoself in a fucked up situation. but baby, why does it have to be now? you told me not to be upset. you told me you dont want to break my heart. oh honey, you already did. it sucks to know that i found you, it sucks to be in the situation we are in now. but wait. yeah,youre right. i dont understand you - how come the last time we met everything was perfectly fine, and then the Next day youre telling me all the bullshit stuffs?

;so tonight, im going to find a way to make it without you.

even if youre a million miles away, i can still feel you.

; I should have known that Youre gonna break my heart.

I was good, a few seconds ago. I swear.

I wouldnt deny that You were always there to keep me smiling and move on everyday.


I didnt expect anything like this to happen to us. I swear, I didnt see that coming. I dont know what you want exactly. Now, you kept me thinking - that feeling just came overnight, or it has been going on for days? If it has been, you should have told me earlier.

I couldnt believe myself that I fall for someone like you. You. But, you made me feel so comfortable. I was myself whenever Im with you.

When was the last time I really fall for a guy? Tell me. All I did, was mingle around. And so I met you and I decided to stick to you. But then, You were the one who broke my heart. How cliche is that?

I dont know how i should feel now, i swear to god. Should I be sad because this might be the end of us? Which I already think it is? Or. should i just stay calm, and relax. Because youre not worth it.

But. Why now? Youre telling me all the crappy stuffs after all that we've been through. Ive expected alot from you and. I just hate the feeling Im feeling now. What the fuck.


I still cant believe how much I depended on you on stuffs and most importantly, Your Love.
I guess that for us being friends now just doesnt seem right. I mean, is this what you really want long ago? I know, i told a couple of my friends that We wouldnt last. But i wasnt expecting it to be this 'long'.

Im still curious about whats keeping you so stressed out. Or is it just because you needa break. I dont know.

If you give me a chance, I would start it all over again. All over. But make sure you stick to your decision. And. Ergh. Fuck it.


Remember, I told you before that;
For it was not into my ears that you whispered. But into my heart.
Its not my lips that you kissed. But my soul.

just remembered. My life was always so suckish and never been right. Wait. It still is.
It sucks to know that Im tearing now. Because of you.







"I remembered what you wore on our first date. Maybe its true,that i cant live without you. And maybe its true, and now im thinking that two is better than one."

When i grip your arms tight, this song will then just appear in my head. Thats when you hear me humming the song,love.

macam finally gitu kan.

YES AA. BLOGGING THRU N97 NOW. TAPI MCM CHUBI ALL CAPS LOCK. KEH. JAP. I TRY ANOTHER POST.

; my only subject was him

Well. Why dont they let me love you?

I wish she would understand. I wish she could be the one giving me advices and all. I wish. But I guess that it's not going to happen. Dad seems cool, but I hadnt tried talking to him about this. Never. But I know, he would understand me better. I dont know how to put words together to make sure I'll get what I want. I guess all she'll say is, "Study comes first. Silat. Youre too young. It'll only distracts you."

I hate it. Yes, Im young, But I'ma teenager now. I want freedom. Well, when i said Freedom you'll know what I mean by that. Im growing. And, you always make it sounds like as if Im still a small lil kid. Dont you know how bad I want you to be more understanding towards me?

Love. Well. I bet you didnt know how much He gave me life. Im not saying that You didnt play your part. You did. But, obviously there's something wrong when I tend to depend on the other person and not you, right?

Wait. Im not done yet.

He made me smile all along - while Im in school and even at home. I like the feeling whenever I know that he is there for/with me. And i guess, you've fallen in love too when youre teenagers right?

You just cant stop nagging to me about all these matters. You always want to know who Im out with. You always ask everything. Yes love, You did your part. Youre caring towards me. You wanna know who are my friends. Of course you wouldnt want me to mix around with bad companies. Yes, I know, Only if youre understanding.

Major miscommunication. I seldom talk to you when Im at home. If we talk, its all about other family stuffs, and most of the times crazy stuffs. But. Whenever I have problems regarding this, I wouldnt be able to open and share it to you. I wouldnt be able to ask you advice and seek help. I always have to rely on friends who knew exactly what happened and whats going on all along. But as a matter of fact, I want you to know all about that. I want you to be the one by my side. But. You dont understand.

I hope that one day you get to read this. I hope I get to print this for you. I hope at least Dad gets to read it.

; Again. I dont know how to put it to words to tell you. Im scared.

For sure. My life would be so much brighter if you would understand, Because. You know me best.

wait.

i swear to god. i dont know who I should trust right now.

Anyone?

Wait. No one.

I wish you know that.

I want freedom. I need your understanding. I know you love me. But. I need you to be open.

It hurts to see everyone being so close to theirs. Sharing their relationship life. And all other dirty little secret. Their diary is their mom. Mine?

I wish You would understand. I dont know how to tell you.

; Malam malam, kalau bawak laptop pergi sekolah.

" Well Sha. Love doesnt come overnight."
"True. But. Overnight tk overnight. Kau nye laptop overnight pun tk on on."

- Shazira Sharpain Superman Sadface Shazaay Nimble Olalala.

(Note that this long name only refers to ONE person.)

HAHAHAHA.


; Oh god. Im falling sick already. And. Im missing you already. MSS (:

; Geography project. Pening kepale.

Geog project is a pain in the ass. Doing on Singapore's development - Education. I think i'll be going over to Library again to study this Sunday and maybe finish up on the project, and then let Bevo and Seaweed to edit a lil here and there.

Commonwealth's Essay is due tomorrow, 1400 words. -.- Maths Quiz is tomorrow, Social studies module test is tomorrow. Vo'defuck. I guess tonight i'll have to sleep a lil late. shit.

Im missing my Million Dollar Mutton badly. Its been days since i last texted her and went out with her. i wonder when is our Chaper four outing.

I know, i hadnt update my blog for so long. been busy with everything. school, training, stuffs. and stuffs.

this saturday will be rather hectic. morning icebath with team, then off to auntylina's house for cousintwinny's birthday party. and also. after that i guess i'll straight go off to library and be back home late. Possible? I hope so.

;Gotta go now. gotta continue on geog's essay. and powerpoint presentation. and search for education's flowchart. shucks.


Much love,
MIRAIDORA AZM.
anything, comment. please be nice.

princess' birthday.

Nothing special today. At least had fun With the team During Afternoon training.