for you, Abdul Fattah

I miss you, badly.
Hope to meet you soon, love!







with love, MIRADORA Azm.

"Baby, this is for you."

Say Hello, to Chocolate.

Yepyep. I hope you love it.

I didnt tell you why I bought the chocs right? Well, Its mainly because of three things;
- I'm sorry because the beginning of the week didnt really went well for both of us.
- Take care because I've gotta check in school, and my competitions on two weekends, and Youre starting your hols, and we can barely meet each other already (well at least for now).
- And lastly, thanks. For everything.

I love you; Fatt.


with love, MIRADORA Azm.

Another one for you;

And you know why its this picture among all :D

Right now, I feel good. I feel good knowing that you care about me. I feel good knowing that you will give me a chance. I feel good knowing you see me for what I am, not what they say I am. I want you to know that each time I go to bed a picture of your face is stuck in my mind. I love how you smile at me when I said something silly.

I think I'm falling in love with you. It feels good.

Formspring.Me

"Hey girl , What 's up with you and boyfriend ? It 's all over FB, and your blog . You alright ? D;"

"Oh. That. Haaa. Err. Well, ups and downs in a relationship. Happens all the time, right? I have to say Im okay - I have to convince myself that I am. Things hadnt changed to any better for the time being. But, I'll be fine. I love him, and. I dont know how much longer I can hold on to this feeling and situation I'm in now. I hope things will go back to normal, change for the better as soon as possible. I cant afford to cry myself to sleep everynight any longer. And thanks, for asking dear. I didnt know people are actually reading up my blog. Haa. Take care, alright? Nights! (:"

Formspring.
http://formspring.me/miraidora

Where are you? Where have you been?

I think that the most difficult person to understand, is Yourself.

That's exactly what I told my heart.

I wanna hold your hand.
I want to smell you, I want you to hold me and tell me Im perfect just the way I am. I try to start picking up your hobbies as mine, just in the hopes that it will make me understand you better. I want to know everything.

And love, means nothing back. Love means holding you, and being afraid because I can lose you at any moment,but the fear is what that keeps you hanging on.

So, is love fear? I dont think so. What I love about you is that Youre my bestfriend. I tell you stuffs which majority, not most people know.

Now, whenever I look at our picture, everytime, It tears me up. I wonder, how I can get things back to place, sort things out. What went wrong, which rules did I break?

Where are you now, when nothing's going right?
Where are you now, when I needed you the most?

My heart is breaking. I cant sleep at all. Trying to get through this, but I dont know how to get myself through this. I know that I only got myself to blame. But that doesnt help to ease the pain.

I still need you beside me.


"It seems when you want someone, they dont want you. And when someone wants you, you dont want them. And when you both want each other, something has to come around and mess it up."

I cry myself to sleep - thinking when will this last. Whenever, by any chance I was left alone, I would stare at my phone, hopping that I'll get a text from you. I think, I got myself way too attached to you now already. Please, I need to hear something from you. I love you dear. Really, I do. Im sorry.


Sucks much. I can advice my girlfriends, my hunkies and all. But sadly, when it comes to me - even for the simplest things of all, I cant advice myself.

Im. Sorry.

Hey you chubi besar.
Im sorry, alright. Really. I guess youre sleeping now, thats why you didnt reply my text.
I love you;
& Im sorry once again.
Goodnight lova♥

*Ouch

I Miss......Smiling

I'm sorry. I just. I couldnt talk, at all.

You left me speechless.

I dont know how to react to that, I swear, I dont know. But, what happen afterwards really left me hurt.

When you let go of my hands. When you didnt look at me in the eye before you left. When you didnt say anything.

I dont know how to describe the feeling, and the thought Im facing now. Im hurt. For sure.

I can barely smile now. I wanna talk things out. But, talk what out?

time check, 11.56pm.

I didnt know how to react to that, love. Should I comfort you? but what if you tend to continue, and think that I think its alright? Should I get mad at you? But then, I understand that people dont change overnight. Im sorry,again.

I cant go on with us, being like this. You know, I have a fragile heart. You know my weakness. Please. You tell me, what should I do to get things back to place. But for whatever reasons, never take 'leaving' as an answer. I know, I remembered, you told me you'll leave. Because it'll eventually hurt me further. But, no. Its gonna hurt me more if you leave. Please,

Im sorry, really.

Its better to keep him than for him to keep his promise.

Lastly, Im sorry. For everything.

Satu hari bersama si dia.

Hello world.

Not much pictures. But had fun, as usual. Everyday is special with you.

Thanks Abdul Fattah.

oi chubi, i love you.

hello. finally, im back on lappy and not my n97.

so, here's a lil something for that skinnyfaggot who loved me and who is loved, deeply and truely by me.

Hello Abdul Fattah.

one - we deserve better. sayang, thanks. for everything. you changed my life. you made it better, full of joy. Im not going to leave you - again. Im not, and I want you to remember that. I know its hard for you to accept that Im back again, but please. I know. People have been telling me to think carefully of what Im doing and.. The point is that, I already found someone who really and tuely loves me for the way I am. So. Im going to treasure and appreciate your love before I'll come begging and finding for love. It always better to love those who loves me, true?

Sayang, I wont leave, because Im not finished yet. Im not finished loving you.

two - im sorry. im sorry i left you before. now that I know you fatt, the thought of.. leaving. just the thought if leaving hurts me bad. i love you, too, fatt.

three - of course. of course i hugged you like theres no tomorrow. of course I let you hold me till the very last. Of course I love you truely. Of course I came back strong, not fearing for the worse, but for the better.

four - i feel good too, when i know you feel good whenever you know that i love you. Its gonna be hard for me if you were to walk away from my life now. So please, fatt. Dont pull yourself out from me. Dont give up on me, please. Hey, I left you before. And she left you before. You chose me, instead of her. I'll be a one big fat ass bitch if i Leave you again, right? Please honey, have some faith. I love you, and thats all that matters. When we hold hands or hug, it seems like all problems just fade away and we're closer to each other.

five - we click. of course. like no other. like. no. friggin. other.

six - waiting/waited. Grabbed your hands tight and whisper, "i love you too." Our lips met, and its the sweetest lips ever. I have yet to grant your last wish. Yet.

seven - love. Now, when I think about love, all I can think about is you. I have that thing that everybody else wanted, I wont take it for granted. I have. You.

eight - no one else can share your love for me. Nor does anyone else gets my love, like you do. You got that right, honey. Absoloutely.

nine - "if i died and went somewhere far, I'd write your name on every star. So everyone could look up & see, that you meant the whole world to me."

Nine. Nine things about us. I bet there's more.
Nine, your favourite number, aint it? :D

Hey faggot.

Hey Abdul Fattah,thanks. For everything.

n97 chubi besar ah. ~~6th months!

CHECK IT OUTTTT. 6TH MONTHS, HOW AWESOME. OKAY, I TK TAU WHATS WITH MY N97, SATU CHUBI BESAR, ALL CAPS AND CANT ENTER. BUT TKPE. OKAY. FATT,I LOVE YOU. K BYE.

All i ever wanted.

thanks. for everything.

i would love to write a longer post, but not now. Im hungry ):

And. really. Thanks mama. For understanding. Everything seems good and right now. Alhamdullilah.

andd one more. i nak this dress from f21! 45 bucks. lawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Good morning love.

And my baby got so high already.

Time check: 12.57am

Currently: Taking a break from revising Biology&Chemistry test tomorrow.

; SHOT.

I know I hadnt say this to you for a very very very very very long time, chubi lova. But.
I miss you.

;Die dedicate this song untok aku ah.

I see you beside me. Its only a dream, A vision of what we used to be. The laughter, the sorrow. Pictures in time fades to sorrow.

How could I ever let you go. Is it too late to let you know.

I tried to run from your side. But each place I hide, it only reminds me of you. When I turn out all the lights, Even the night, It only reminds me of you.

So come back to me. Im down on my knees.

Mymp - only reminds me of you

Sweeeeeeeeeeeet. Thanks chubai. Really.

I dont know if youre been reading my blog or not, but I hope you know that Im refering to YOU la kan. And youre sucha meannie, kene-kan me the whole night tonight, ah. ChubiChubi betol. Well, Im looking forward for Sunday and Monday (: Monday, Jellybean will bring her DSLR, and we can camwhoreeeee la kan.

;Readers, Pictures will be up as soon as its taken and uploaded. If its not here, it should be on FB. (:

Youre my chubai. Im your chubi.

;And I want you to know.

I just hope that I get to be the one who will get you going.

I love talking to you, I love who I am when Im with you. Because I am myself when Im with you. I try to be the best you ever had, but apparently there are others whom you would prefer. I made a mistake before, and Ive learnt. Im sorry

Ive made the wrong decision, to leave and love all the wrong guy. Things never come easy for me, and It has always been so hard. Whatsmore, somehow I bet, Its gonna hurt me if youre going to be with someone else in the near future and not me. I admit, I left you. I know, it must have been hard for you. I know, you needed me at that very point of time. I didnt realise how much It hurts until I knew that Youve moved on.

But how come talking about other girls made me jealous?

But hey lover. I didnt leave you for any other guy. I didnt know what I wanted and. Fuck life.

I want to know what Love is. And I bet, you can show me. Again.

I. want. to. start. over.

Yes, we are. You can do that. I can too. But will things be the way it was last time? When there's only me and you?

Readers, When you told someone your deepest secret nobody has ever knew, who is He to you?

That night I lied on my bed and cried. Cried because I realised that I had the perfect guy in my life. Not because I deserve better. But because you do.

but, that doesnt mean that I dont love you.

and its going to hurt me to see you with another girl in near future and not me.

xoxo

Eh aku strong ah. Stronger without kau ah.

Chubi really opened up my eyes and made me think about everything deeper. Well, what he told was me was exactly what I needed to hear. And chubi. Thanks alot for everything and everyday. I know, Ive texted you already - the 6 pages long msg, but there's another one here for you.

You made my Saturday, you made my day. I really need that badly and for the first time, You live me up within one day. HAHA. But again, had fun with you, walking from Dhoby Ghaut to Bugis. I know Ive been living under the shell to long, but hear this; "If its me and my bestf, she'll get lost first and she'll depend on me for directions." HAHA. So, that means Im not THAT blur la kan. Haha. The rainbow thing thing was nice. And the chocolate shake with pearls helped through the walk. Wait. Im not done yet. And the Brownies and Icecream was the HIGHLIGHT of the day, i swear. And I must say that I am honoured that you brought me to your workplace, introduced me to your friends, showed me around and all. And and Im the first girl you brought over. Definitely, I feel special. (Y)

When you told me you never ever thought of deleting me in your life, I tear. I know I've made a mistake to leave you before and hurt you bad. I know I'm Wrong. Eventhough you've forgive me already, I will still remember that I was wrong.

You told me you fall for me once, And you will always be.
You told me no one deserve to be treated badly.
You told me it hurts you to me getting hurt.
You told me that you're glad to know someone like me.

And you told me you did everything because you want to be there for me.

Its Saturday, I met brownies with icecream. Its Saturday, you cheered me up. Its Saturday, I finally knew how to walk from Dhoby to Bugis. Its Saturday, I finally knew that I've been living under the shell for so long. Its Saturday, You made my day. Its because Its Saturday, I love Saturday.




















On the other hand, To you who broke me heart badly.

youre sucha jerk and I hate guys like you. Whatsmore, you dont worth my time and Guys like you are just so typical. Who cares if you read this post or not, but if you, I want you to know that You are missing the good things in life for leaving me. You are missing the good things in life because you lost someone whose willing to guide you through. Stop thinking that youre a guy and you can use and do anything to any girl. And stop telling your friends that Im crazy over you and You dont like me and Yout think I'm annoying and all. Please. One thing you dont know about me is that;

Eventhough Im fifteen, I know how guys like you treat a girl. Please.
And perhaps, the reason you gave me is so typical. It is JUST a reason and easy to say, to bottom line is that you never liked me before and you just want to play around with the girl's heart. But, somehow I think youre a coward. Why dont you just tell me off straight to the point? Why dyou have to twist everything? It must have been difficult to pretend, aint it?

We may be friends in the future, but my thought of you never changes - Youre the guy that left me over some stupid reason, Youre the guy that shattered me to pieces, Youre the guy who deleted my post on your wall, Youre the guy who have used me, Youre the guy who had wasted my time, Youre the guy who cheated my feelings, Youre the typical guy whom I can meet anywhere. And. Youre the guy whom I thought was different but wasnt and I.

I dont deserve you. I deserve someone who loves me, and not you. I deserve somene else, I dont deserve you.

Guess what fucker;You lost something amazing. You lost me.

Chubi Chickies

Heyya readers. Help to vote for me by 'like-ing' the picture. Here's the link;

http://www.facebook.com/MiraIdora.Mieriikins?ref=profile#!/photo.php?pid=5839124&op=1&o=global&view=global&subj=726666491&id=308269305504

Yesterday night was awesome. Thanks alot to FATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

First, after SST webcam-ed with Jeff and Daniel.

Then with Izhwan.

Oh yeah, Bestf. Good luck for your race later okay. I miss you la love. I know, one school. But hadnt talk to you for quite sometime. Vithya couldnt make it this Saturday. Hmm. Im thinking of going library, study. You wanna tag? I doubt so. HAHA (:

Apart from that..
Faaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttt;
Eh gemok. THANKS for making my day semalam la kan. After so long tk bebual, semalam baru gile gile. Hyper maot. HAHA. I then realised that You were the one who were like telling me everything about your school and lifes and updates. Macam banyak bende sangat gitu kan you nk bebual. HAHAH. Banyak chicks pat ITE pe? HAHA. Eh, you better be honoured and comment on this post okay. And guess what. I cant wait for you to dapat you driving liscence, and caaaaar. So You can send me to school la kan! Tak payah susah susah naik MRT, tunggu bus. HAHAHA (:


Quote of the day,

"Well, you dont descriminate. Im the 15 year old you fell in love with Last February."

You ended what you started. You ended what we had. You ended me.

-Miraidora

i thought you wouldnt text. but then you did.
one thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind.

im confused.
should i leave you? or not?

You?
You just dont want to talk about it, dont you. Are you leaving Us behind? I admit. Its only a short period of time. But.

Its unfair. I reserved my love for the next one to come. The next one whom I think would deserve. I chose you. But, Ive made the wrong choice. A fucking wrong choice. I let you have and I gave all I got to keep on loving and keep our love going on but. Its all. A. Plenty. Waste. Of. Time.

Why does it always have to be this way? When I thought he is the perfect one, He left me?








Apart from that, I would like to say. Thanks FATT. For making my day. I just feel like talking to you and let all my thoughts out. Seriously. We should Starbucks one day. Hahaha. Okay, Freda? (:

And also my gorgeous Roomies. And. Happy Birthday Liana. I knw you had a blast one, sweety. (Y)


;Whose gonna walk me back to school on Sundays now?
(i)i miss you,love(/i)